How to Choose the Right Estate Planning Lawyer for Your Situation

Publication Date August 20, 2025 in Estate Law, Estate Planning

By Michael Hackard

Choosing an estate planning lawyer is one of the most consequential decisions you can make not just for yourself, but for the generations that come after you. This isn’t a choice to be made lightly. You’re not simply hiring a legal technician; you’re selecting a long-term advisor who will help protect your life’s work, preserve your legacy, and ensure your loved ones are cared for in your absence.

In my decades of experience as a trust and estate litigation attorney, I’ve seen firsthand how the right estate planning lawyer can secure a family’s future. I’ve also seen how the wrong one or worse, no one at all can lead to years of legal turmoil, family conflict, and fractured inheritances.

Estate planning is not just about documents. It’s about people. It’s about families. And above all, it’s about trust.

So how do you choose someone worthy of that trust? Let’s walk through the key steps, questions, and considerations that can help you make the best possible decision for your unique situation.

Why the Right Lawyer Matters

Before diving into the selection process, it’s worth asking: why is this decision so important?

At its core, estate planning touches every aspect of your personal, financial, and family life. A competent estate planning attorney can:

Create wills, trusts, and healthcare directives tailored to your needs
Minimize estate and income taxes
Protect your assets from lawsuits, creditors, and long-term care expenses
Prevent disputes among heirs and family members
Plan for business succession and incapacity
Safeguard inheritances for minor children, blended families, or special needs dependents

A subpar lawyer or a one-size-fits-all document mill may miss critical details, fail to ask the right questions, or leave you with a plan that’s outdated the moment your life changes.

The stakes are high. Estate plans often come into play during the most emotionally charged moments in a family’s life: after death, during grief, or amidst a health crisis. The strength of your plan and the lawyer behind it can either provide clarity and calm or open the door to conflict and confusion.

Start with Your Unique Needs

Before you even begin searching for a lawyer, take a moment to reflect on your specific situation. What are you trying to accomplish? What complexities exist in your personal or financial life?

Here are a few examples:

Do you have a blended family? You’ll need someone skilled in designing trusts that protect both current spouses and children from previous relationships.
Do you own a business? You’ll want a lawyer who understands business succession planning and asset protection.
Do you have minor children? Guardianship designations and trustee appointments will be critical.
Are you concerned about long-term care or Medicaid planning? You’ll need someone familiar with elder law.
Do you have a high-net-worth estate or complex assets like real estate, partnerships, or intellectual property? Advanced tax and wealth transfer strategies will be important.

The point is this: not every lawyer is equipped to handle every kind of estate. Identifying your priorities upfront will help you find someone whose experience aligns with your needs.

Credentials and Specialization: Look Beyond Generalists

In today’s legal world, specialization matters. Just as you wouldn’t ask your dermatologist to perform heart surgery, you shouldn’t ask your divorce lawyer to draft your estate plan.

Estate planning involves a unique blend of tax law, probate procedure, trust administration, and family dynamics. It requires deep technical knowledge, but also foresight, emotional intelligence, and the ability to spot long-term risks.

When evaluating potential lawyers, ask:

Do they focus exclusively or primarily on estate planning and related fields (such as probate, elder law, or tax law)?
How long have they been practicing in this area?
Are they board-certified in estate planning, trust, or probate law? (In states where certification exists.)
Are they active in bar associations, continuing legal education, or estate planning councils?
Do they have experience with estate litigation? (This is a major plus, as litigators often know how to draft plans that hold up under scrutiny.)

Avoid generalists or “do-it-all” firms that treat estate planning as an add-on service. You want a lawyer who lives and breathes this work every day.

Reputation and References

A lawyer’s reputation especially in the estate planning world speaks volumes.

Start with referrals. Ask your CPA, financial advisor, or trusted friends if they have a lawyer they’d recommend.
Check online reviews, but take them with a grain of salt. A few negative comments don’t necessarily mean trouble, but consistent praise or consistent complaints are both telling.
Ask for references from past clients, especially those with similar needs. A reputable lawyer should have no issue connecting you with a few clients who can speak to their experience.

You can also check state bar websites for disciplinary history or complaints.

If a lawyer is respected by both clients and peers, that’s a good sign you’re on the right track.

Communication and Fit

Estate planning is personal. It involves talking about mortality, money, family secrets, and sometimes regrets. You need someone you can speak with openly and someone who truly listens.

When you meet with a prospective lawyer, ask yourself:

Do they explain things clearly and in plain English?
Do they take the time to understand your goals and concerns?
Do they ask thoughtful questions?
Are they patient and approachable, or do they seem rushed and transactional?
Do they take a collaborative approach or just tell you what to do?

Chemistry matters. If you feel like you’re being talked down to or like your concerns aren’t being heard, it’s probably not the right fit.

Look for a lawyer who is both technically skilled and empathetic. Someone who understands not only the law, but also people.

Transparency Around Fees

Estate planning fees can vary widely depending on location, complexity, and experience level. Some lawyers charge flat fees; others bill by the hour.

Neither model is inherently better, but transparency is key.

Before hiring anyone, you should receive:

A clear explanation of how fees are structured
An estimate or range of total costs
An outline of what services are included (and what might incur extra fees)

Be wary of ultra-low cost offers, especially from online document services. You often get what you pay for and the cost of fixing a bad plan down the line can far exceed the initial savings.

Remember, this is not a commodity. You’re investing in peace of mind, risk mitigation, and a smoother path for your heirs.

Thoroughness of the Process

A good estate planning process is not a quick signing meeting. It involves detailed intake, collaboration, and education. Your lawyer should:

Gather comprehensive financial and family information
Discuss your values, goals, and concerns
Recommend specific legal tools tailored to your situation
Draft custom documents not fill-in-the-blank templates
Walk you through each document and its purpose
Help fund and align your trusts with your assets
Coordinate with other advisors (e.g., your accountant or wealth manager)

If someone offers to send you documents after a 20-minute phone call, walk away. Estate planning is too important to rush.

Further Reading:

Avoid the top hiring mistakes that lead to ineffective or costly estate plans. Read Hackard Law’s “Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Hiring an Estate Planning Lawyer” for actionable guidance and smart strategies.

Watch for Red Flags

Here are some signs you may want to keep looking:

The lawyer is vague or evasive about pricing
They push generic packages without discussing your goals
They don’t ask about your family dynamics or potential conflicts
They’re dismissive of your questions or concerns
They focus only on legal documents, not the strategy behind them
They promise “bulletproof” plans or guarantees (there’s no such thing)

You want an advisor, not a salesman. Choose someone who respects your situation and is willing to earn your trust.

Questions to Ask Before You Hire

Here’s a list of practical questions to guide your consultation:

How long have you been practicing estate planning law?
What percentage of your practice is devoted to estate planning?
Do you have experience with clients in situations like mine?
Will you help fund my trust and retitle assets?
Do you review and update plans periodically?
What happens if you retire or are unavailable when my family needs you?
Do you also handle probate or trust administration?
What are your fees, and what do they include?
How long does the planning process typically take?
Can you provide references from past clients or professionals?

A confident, competent attorney will be happy to answer these questions and likely impressed that you’re asking them.

Planning for the Long Term

Estate planning is not a one-time event. Laws change. Families evolve. Assets grow or disappear. The best lawyers don’t just draft your documents and disappear they serve as ongoing counselors.

Ask how the lawyer handles updates. Do they offer periodic reviews? Will they keep in touch as your life changes? Can they help your trustees or beneficiaries down the line?

Planning for your family’s future is not a transaction, it’s a relationship. Choose someone you’d be comfortable calling ten years from now, when your son gets married or your daughter takes over the family business.

Real-World Insight: A Tale of Two Clients

Let me offer a real-world contrast that drives this home.

Several years ago, I represented two families in separate cases each involving multi-million-dollar estates, and each with vastly different outcomes.

Family A had worked with a thoughtful estate planning lawyer who specialized in high-net-worth families. Their plan included a revocable trust, succession planning for their business, and contingencies for long-term care. They funded their trust, updated it regularly, and had conversations with their children about their intentions.

When the matriarch passed away, the family grieved but they didn’t litigate. The trustee had clear instructions. The assets transferred efficiently. The legacy was preserved.

Family B, by contrast, had relied on a cheap online service to draft a will. Their plan didn’t account for the value of a growing business or the estrangement of one child. The documents were ambiguous and poorly written. After the parent died, three siblings ended up in court fighting for years over what Mom “really meant.”

One family left behind order. The other left behind chaos.

The difference? Planning and the right professional to guide it.

The Emotional Weight of Getting It Right

It’s easy to view estate planning as a matter of numbers – assets, taxes, percentages. But beneath the legal and financial mechanics lies something much more profound: the emotional legacy you leave behind.

The right estate planning lawyer helps you do more than pass on wealth. They help you communicate care. A well-crafted plan says to your family, “I thought about you. I made choices with your future in mind. I did everything I could to make this easier for you.”

That kind of message echoes long after you’re gone. It builds trust among siblings. It protects vulnerable family members. It honors your values and your life’s work.

Too often, I’ve seen families ripped apart not because someone left too little, but because they left behind confusion, ambiguity, or perceived unfairness. That damage can take years to repair if it ever heals at all.

Your lawyer is the architect of this legacy. A good one helps you build clarity, compassion, and resilience into your plan. A careless one risks building a house of cards.

So before you finalize anything, ask yourself: is this the person who truly understands my family, my wishes, and the gravity of what I’m trying to do?

Securing Your Legacy Starts Today

Your estate plan is the blueprint for your family’s future. It determines whether your loved ones inherit assets or arguments. Whether your legacy is preserved or picked apart in probate court.

The lawyer you choose to guide this process can make all the difference.

Don’t settle. Don’t rush. Don’t put this off.

Instead, take a thoughtful approach. Reflect on your goals. Vet your options. Ask hard questions. And most of all, choose someone who not only knows the law, but who understands people someone who listens, anticipates, and helps you see around corners.

Because at the end of the day, estate planning isn’t about you. It’s about the people you love, and the world you leave behind for them.

Choose wisely. Your family’s future depends on it.

📞 Need expert guidance on estate planning?
Contact Hackard Law today to schedule a consultation and secure your legacy with trusted legal counsel.

Michael Hackard is the founding partner of Hackard Law, a leading California law firm focused on estate, trust, and elder financial abuse litigation. He brings over 40 years of legal experience to families facing critical questions of legacy, protection, and justice.